Regrets
by chichigal
Summary: Death would soon come. My dream would finally die with me today.
1. Chapter 1

Hello my name is Chichigal! This is officially to be my first Naruto fanfiction. Hope it's ok v. Now I can assure it won't be a oneshot. Please review me with any comments.

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**Regrets**

_Chapter 1_

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My green orbs glazed and tired stared into the darkened skies. Gazing into the unknown.

War cries and the sounds of battle had long died, and the only sounds left on this wasteland of death and blood were the periodic beating of my own faltering heart and gasps of my own breath.

Here I am, Haruno Sakura apprentice to the Godaime. A Shinobi to the village of the hidden leaf. A fatal would painfully piercing my chest. Lying here alone dying in a pool of my own blood. Fitting that I would die alone. It always seemed I was alone, so why not even in death.

I could see the strands of my own dirtied pink hair swimming raggedly in the pool of red surrounding me. My mangled body lay quite still. The only motion been the rise and fall of my chest, avidly struggling to keep the breath in my dying body.

Death would soon come. My dream would finally die with me today.

But would it have mattered either way. My dream had been hopeless the moment I realised it. The moment, I Haruno Sakura looked at Uzumaki Naruto with hope for a new dream. A dream of a future that no longer contained a dark brooding man. But a man born of the opposite spectrum. Warm like the sun, and equally as bright.

For a long while, my heart had began to beat differently for this man I had once thought little of in my youth. I fell in love the moment his blue eyes gazed into mine heartbroken but strong. And the infamous promise of a lifetime was bestowed upon me. All for me.

But I was entrapped far too deeply in my childish infatuation for the dark avenger, to see the honesty of my own feelings and his back then. Far too long the false feeling of love disguised this truth.

It was Yamato's spoken words that would finally lifted the blinders, so to speak. It didn't come immediately of course. At the time I was quite confused, and all said was tossed to a recess in deepest depths of my mind to haunt me later.

I remember the moment the reality of it all hit me. I was working at the hokage's desk, helping with a bit of paper work, to ease my mind of worries. Respecting shishou's advice, and was for the moment allowing my blonde companion a moment to himself. But I couldn't stop from fretting over the blonde idiot. I was fretting over his agony at the loss of his perverted sensei and father like figure. And at that moment I could almost feel his pain that moment, and was stressing at the hopelessness of the entire situation. Tears burned my eyes unwontedly. Why couldn't I do more... Why did I do so little...

It was then Yamato's words came back to haunt me.

_It's not a problem of big or small... What's important is the strength of the feelings you have for Naruto..._

Here I was Haruno Sakura crying over the blonde knucklehead. Agonizing over him. Worried in a way I never was with Sasuke. All because...

_Sakura... I can tell by looking at you... In reality..._

... I loved him.

I almost broke shishou's desk. You can imagine how terrified I was from the realisation. I almost had a hyperventilating fit. After all this was Naruto. Annoying. Obnoxious. Knucklehead extraordinaire. My team mate.

But he was also warm hearted and kind. Gentle and strong. And even I have to admit, easy on the eyes. He was wonderful. I couldn't help but love him.

But what could I do... How could I see him now... How could I help when all I've done since I was a child was hurt him...

Thinking back on all I've done to him made me nauseous. How could I ever think I would be lucky enough too ever earn his love back. The truth of it, he deserved far more than a temperamental flat chested idiot of a girl like me, especially when there were more likely candidates out there. I've seen the way Hinata looks at him. She was calm, collected, beautiful and kind. Everything I wasn't. Everything he deserves.

And either way my love would be of course be unwanted. His love must have died for me long ago, and the blame could only be cast upon myself for throwing his selfless love away. Destroying it with a selfish promise, in hopes of redeeming the unredeemable.

I had hurt him more than anyone then. Beat him with no regards to his feelings. Ignored his entire existence, imagining myself far too superior to waste a moment of my time in his presence, when it was the other way round. Stupid idiotic child I was then. It would be far more harmless if I just stayed out of his life.

Tears fell down my cheeks then. And at that moment I made a promise of a lifetime to him. I promised I would not to be a source of his pain ever again. Even if that meant never seeing him again.

So I opted to stay away. Until Tsunade-Shishou told me was leaving again. Training once more, this time in the teaching of the sage. This time for revenge against the Akatsuki. I feared for his life then. Feared that he may die before he managed and realised his dream of being Hokage. Before he could finally be happy. I was also so angry at the murderous bastards, that I unintentionally snapped at him a few times during the course of the search for clues of Jiraya's last message to leaf. Then came the time for his training and he left.

I felt empty. And at loss. I mourned for his departure, and hoped for his return. I longed for him. I dreamed of more than I should, even as far as to picture Pink and blonde haired children, with his outlook to life and child like enthusiasm. It was heartbreaking, waking up and realising they would never be.

So I signed up for this mission in hopes of getting my mind of the blonde. It was a simple retrieval mission. Who would have thought it would be my last.

Here fallen to a member of the akatsuki. I had fought as a ninja, and fought with honour and strength. I even managed to take the stupid grey skinned bastard down with me. But now dying here and alone, it made it all seem meaningless. Here I was dying with nothing but regrets.

I wished I had told him. Wished he knew the truth even if it wasn't reciprocated. I wished I could have died gazing into the depth of his deep blue eyes, even if his weren't gazing down at me with love.

The pain that once pierced my chest had now by now grown numb. Physical pain may have numbed now, but still...

_Ba-bump_

It hurts... Naruto...

_Ba-bump_

I'm sorry... I wish there was more time...

_Ba.. Bump.._

I love you...

_Ba... Bump..._

Goodbye... Naruto...

It's so dark...

...

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_End of Chapter 1_

Please Review!

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	2. Chapter 2

Hi! I'm back with another chapter. Please read and review! v

Thank you **Ikarishinji** for your inspiring words. I can only hope the rest of the story goes well. v

**random-randomize**, **Wind797** and **Jie** thank you for the reviews. They inspire me to continue writing this story.

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**Regrets**

_Chapter 2_

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"Sakura-chan..."

My whisper died in the wind, as I ran through the mass of trees with a urgency like no other. The brown bark of wood, just a mere blur as I ran in hopes of finding her. I had to find her. Something throbbed in the depths of my heart. It told me in no uncertain way, that I needed to find her. Something was wrong.

Somehow with that thought in my mind, I managed to up my speed a notch. My feet pounded insistently on the ground leading me hopefully to my Sakura-chan. Yes, my Sakura-chan. She would always be my Sakura-chan, even if she'd disagree.

She had to be alright. She had to. He had to find her. Baa-chan said she be around here.

As soon as got back from Myobokuzan with the old toad. I made my way to the Hokage Tower in hopes of bumping into Sakura-chan. When I found out from baa-chan, that she'd been sent on a simple retrieval mission and that she had yet to return. I knew that very moment something was wrong. Knew that I had to find her. So with the screaming of the old hag behind me, I left without question, and ran in hopes of finding her. I had to find her.

She was all I lived for.

I lived every moment for her and revelled at any attention she provided me. Even the violent variety. Because despite everything, I loved her. Which isn't surprising considering the level of devotion I have for her. Despite a lack of them, it made all the short moments of tenderness between us all the more special.

I've loved her the moment my eyes met hers. I still remember to this day the moment.

A couple of bastards thought it would be fun to torment her, and stole a pure white ribbon from her possession, which she had and used to put up her hair. They tormented her pink hair and spitefully commented on her forehead. I could here her cries from each notion of verbal abuse.

I don't know what made me do it, but I decided enough was enough and interfered. The little bastards didn't have a chance, and unlike them a few bruises from their small fists didn't send me off into tears.

The adults wouldn't be pleased at my violent actions. But... Bah! I could've cared less. Not as if they'd ever treated me right in the first place. I have the scars to prove it. So why not give them a real reason for once.

There stolen prize tossed was quickly tossed to the ground in their escape, and I picked the discarded ribbon up carefully, and made a move to give it back to her.

She gave a few teary sniffles. That's when her innocent emerald eyes gazed into my jaded ones. The tears making them shine brilliantly. I was lost in her depths of her eyes for a moment. I swallowed nervously, set my customary grin into place as I handed her desired item back to her. She stuttered a quiet thank you.

"Not a problem! Eh... If you're ever in trouble I promise to always protect you! It's a promise of a lifetime! Dattebayo!"

I was completely fascinated as her once grim expression cleared and the most beautiful of smiles graced her lips. It left me feeling completely breathless. But that was nothing compared to the dumb shock I felt, when she pressed the lips of her mouth to my cheek before she ran off leaving me a living statue. I was completely ensnared by the pink haired beauty.

Before her, I was in despair over the mistreatment from the people of the village. That one meagre show of affection killed any of my darkened thoughts. And a new goal in life had presented itself. From that moment on I devoted my life to hers. It may have seemed little or nothing to most, but without her I had most likely have ended up another Sasuke. Grown up with bent only with nothing but revenge to feed on, without an ounce of forgiveness in my heart. I would protect her, even if I had to become Hokage to do it. So came the birth of my dream.

I felt the lungs in my chest burn painfully and persistently at the lack of oxygen. But I didn't care. I wouldn't stop. Not until I found her. So I pushed my tired limbs onwards. Not even wincing as a wooden limbs tore at my skin. Nothing would stop me, not even the risk of death.

That's when the startling scent of blood invaded my nose. Still fresh from the smell of it. I eagerly followed the trail. Hopefully Sakura-chan wasn't hurt.

And finally there came an end to the mass of trees, a clearing was in sight. My hope of finding Sakura-chan alive and well rekindled. I cleared the trees and immediately stopped in shock and anticipation. The entire place was a mess. The ground in the entire area, cracked from an obvious sign of battle. My eyes scanned about anxiously, and widened at the sight of the mutilated form of the Grey skinned Akatsuki freak. I quickly cast him off as unimportant and my eyes continued their trek till... I found her.

"No..." My voice cracked.

Nothing could describe the true horror of the scene before me. It was an image that often haunted me in the form of nightmares. But they were only illusions of my inner most fears. But this. This was reality.

My beautiful Sakura-chan lay in a puddle of her own lifeblood. Pale and silent.

My eyes dilated and focused solely on her. I could care less about the other figure's still form. He didn't matter. I had to get to my Sakura-chan.

I stumbled onwards and dropped to my knees, ignorant to the red liquid seeping and soaking my orange pants. I trembled as I neared her pale body, and with shaky hands I gathered her slack form into arms. An agonising cry escaped my mouth, at the lack of response. She lacked any sign of movement. Her chest was so still. Never the less I brushed a blood soaked lock of hair from her face, and allowed the course texture of my hand to tentatively stroke the softness of her cheek in a gentle tender move.

"Sakura-chan! I'm here. Wake up! Please!"

I gave a weak smile, as I gazed at her figure with a false hope of seeing those warm orbs open at my beckoning.

But there was nothing.

Her face remained impassive. Eyes were closed in eternal sleep. She was so cold.

_No..._

"I promised… I promised to protect you… It was a promise of a lifetime…"

My arms shook momentarily, before they became vice like as I clutched at her desperately, I didn't even try to stop the tears from falling down the harsh lines of my face, to mingle with the blood pouring from her wounds.

"Sakura, please! You can't die! No…"

She was my everything. If she was gone. There would be nothing. If she was gone… I would go with her.

"My dreams are empty without you..." I whispered brokenly, before I gave a loud wail of absolute grief, and buried my head to her chest and sobbed. But that was when I heard.

_Ba-bump..._

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_End of Chapter 2_

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	3. Chapter 3

I know it's been a while since my last update, here's another chapter of Regret. I know it doesn't follow the manga from where it is at now. But I have every intention of finishing. So now it's officially an AU. I do plan to make another chapter after this, so I'm not going to end the story like this.

Thank you Uzunamikaze, Chelsea-chee and Greensapphire for you're beautiful reviews. It makes me feel wonderful to think something I've written, can stir such feelings in people.

Hope this chapter is ok, and I really appreciate any reviews whether their bad or not, as long as they are constructive in bettering my writing.

Thanks. Chichigal

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**Regrets**

_Chapter 3_

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There was nothing. Nothing but pain and the stuttering beating of my heart the only sound echoing the chamber of darkness I had been resigned to.

I could see to the distance a source of light, beckoning. Calling me to it. I neared and the pain seemed to slowly subside to almost nothing. A few more step would be an end to all my pain. Somehow I knew it.

**"Sakura-chan! I'm here. Wake up! Please!"**

Startled, I turned to look for the source of the echoed voice. But there was still nothing but darkness. Surrounding me, almost enveloping me. That voice... It sounded so familiar. The light was brighter still now, and my feet moved once more, to escape the dark.

**"I promised… I promised to protect you… It was a promise of a lifetime…"**

I stilled. That voice, it was... Naruto. It couldn't be... Why would he be here. I am alone. I should be alone. Never the matter, I needed to go, his life would be better without me here to darken it. The light beckons once more, the end is near.

**"Sakura, please! You can't die! No…"**

One more step.

**"My dreams are empty without you..."**

His voice, so agonised. The light offered relief from pain, an escape from darkness. But... I couldn't leave him. I couldn't make the last step. I would rather stay in the darkness and pain, then leave. I needed him. And it sounded like he needed me.

_Naruto...!_

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My eyes opened slowly, and were immediately blinked into closure. Light... there was nothing but light. So much my eyes grew sore from the glare. Was I dead. I moved timidly and winced as an agonising pain hit my chest. Was there pain in death. I doubted it. So I'm alive... but how?

"... Sakura-chan..."

I froze, at my name muttered by a familiar voice. A mumble all too familiar grumbled deeply from a male chest. My eyes snapped open, and the painful glare mattered not, as my green orbs searched for and hoped for the sight of...

"Naruto..."

My voice came out scratchy and grating, but I could care less as my eyes filled with tears at the sight of my beloved blonde team-mate. There sat in an obviously uncomfortable position next to what I gather is my hospital bed. His right hand clutching at my left. Our fingers laced together perfectly.

I couldn't help the happy tears. He was here and that's all that mattered. The pain. None of it.

Suddenly I felt tired. So tired. I kept my eyes on his sleeping form. I wanted him be the last thing etched into my memories before sleep claimed me. With the last of my energy, I clutched at his hand tightly, bringing it to my bandaged cheek. His skin felt so warm against mine, so soft, so... perfect.

I sighed and my eyes slowly closed into the semblance of sleep.

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Groggily I awoke to the world, everything bright once more against my closed eyelids and…

"Naruto! You can keep doing this to yourself, you need to rest..."

"... Baa-chan! Sakura-chan has to wake up soon. She has to be ok... I need to be here... "

"Naruto..." The distinct feminine growl echoed the room.

"Uhhh..."

The moan escaped before I could stop it. My eyes slowly opened and stilled on two figures, both blonde. One female and the other male. Tsunade-sama and… Naruto. A pair of voices echoed in response.

"Sakura-chan!"

All blonde and hyperactive. Uzumaki Naruto was at my side once more, just as earlier. Hands at my own grasping in hopeful pleasure. Looking so happy, I wanted to cry.

"Naruto..." I whispered, and winced at the sound that escaped my lips. Never the less I pressed onwards.

"I…"

But anything I was to say was never to be said. I was startled to find his weight on me, his arms wrapped around me tightly, but gently as not to wound me further. His head so close to mine, that the dirty blonde of his hair, tickled my nose. I was obviously turning red, I could feel the heat of my cheeks. I was ready to swim in embarrassment, till I felt a warm wetness at the junction of my neck, where his head lay. His whole body was trembling. Startled at the thought of his tears, any thought of embarrassment evaporated.

My own arms enveloped him, fingers lifted to comb his blonde locks in tenderness, and what I hoped came out as reassurance. I was startled slightly at the softness of the texture. It was so much softer, than I ever imagined.

The door swung open, startling me ever so slightly from my actions and thoughts. Shishou... She was watching silently with a small smile from near the door. I blushed slightly. But it didn't matter. I was too content holding the blonde shinobi close.

There were tears in her eyes and obvious relief. I smiled at her in thanks. Somehow I knew she had a hand in my been alive. She nodded in response and left me to myself with the blonde ninja, who was still unresistingly holding me close.

"Naruto…" Suddenly the blonde ninja was disappointedly out of my arms, and sat almost stiffly at the chair at my side. He quickly wiped his eyes clean of tears with the back of his sleeves. Eventually dry yet swollen blue eyes gazed at me shyly.

"Gomen… gomen… I didn't mean to…" He muttered, his hand nervously scratching the back of his head in his own cute way.

"It's ok." I interrupted trying to swallow my slight disappointment.

"I just, I thought… there was so much blood…" He gave a small tearful humourless laugh.

"You found me?" I muttered startled. Naruto nodded his head anxiously. Blue eyes attentively staring into my own. My heart sped ever so slightly.

"Hai! Hai! Baa-chan said you're were gone on a mission and that you hadn't come home yet. So I went to find you. I never thought…" He broke off, his beautiful blue eyes baring into mine intensively, looking so broken. His arms were around me once more. My own instinctively followed.

"I'm so glad! So glad, you're ok… you're still with me…"

"Naruto…" I cried weakly.

"I thought I'd lost you… I promised to protect you… It was a promise of a lifetime, and I nearly broke it."

Those words… I remember… almost like…

_'I promised… I promised to protect you… It was a promise of a lifetime…'_

_'Sakura, please! You can't die! No…'_

_'My dreams are empty without you…'_

I clutched at him closer, arms tightening as I buried my head into his chest. I gave a shuddering breath before…

"My dreams are empty without you too, Naruto."

I felt him stiffen.

"Sakura-chan…" He whispered bewildered.

I wanted to cry. For a moment painful doubt clouded my heart. Never the less whether what I heard in the darkness was real or wishful thinking on my behalf, I needed to press on.

"I made a promise to myself, if ever I had another chance, Naruto. I would be honest and truthful. I would tell my most precious person the truth of my feelings even if it wasn't reciprocated." I muttered, finishing with a tearful laugh. Green eyes suddenly found blue widened ones.

"I love you Uzumaki Naruto. You may not feel the same, but I want you… no I need you to know of my feelings for you, even if all you feel for me is at best considered only friendly. I just… god… I love you."

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**End of Chapter 3**

_Please Review!_

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